I'm lost, but at least I know it

confused still.


I want to know you (in the biblical sense)
Smiling
ryandl
i want to part your fire like moses did the red sea
caress your pearl to the sand
trace  your lines to the parting place 
extract your gold from endless resources
hear your precious night hymns 
kneel before you till your love comes 
down and meets me at your misty shore.

(no subject)
Smiling
ryandl
I  swore I wouldn't stay too long 
but I can't help but break those rules
and you know it doesn't feel half wrong
so won't you please make some room

You've never felt so deeply
Or teared up so soon
I'm sorry my pretty baby, 
but now you'll have to make room

The road that once led to happiness
Seems too easy to consume
Realize, your path was only paved half-way
So now you have to make room.

You've only opened up just a bit
And you're saying I'm fitting you like a spoon?
No my lady, it's just the beginning
I'm sorry but you'll have to make room

Oh!, I love how you've grown
the love that we've shown
a pity you've crumbled so soon
You're feeling inspired? 
I thought you've retired.
Now you want to consume?

You sure? Then make room. 

My First
Smiling
ryandl
I love your shine
the way you cover up your lips
just to let me sleep 
crack open your fingers to the sound of birds chirping
and totally reveal tomorrow's noon

I love your sway
the way you swing your legs
inviting me home, 
oh where I wanna be after work

I love your grip
the way you hold me down
when others let go
you hold on

I love your breathe
it smells like truth and wit
soft in a way that I could never quite understand

I love your eyes
they blink only when I'm watching
you watch my back and let me have yours
-only me
and I know what to do

Your tongue spits daggers
that mix with my lyrics
to form sweet blues
then comes rain to put out the flames
and we heal like gospel on a Sunday afternoon
weak but stronger at the same time

I love your voice
You sing just to hear me join in
then you smile cuz you know I can't resist
you play me like an instrument,
I love your mind cuz 
you already know that I let you.

This ain't a love song
it's the truth
and yeah, it's the first time
but I thank God it's with you

Excuse My Misfortune (unfinished)
Old pic
ryandl
 

See past my misfortune,

Pardon the interruption

I have just a moment to speak

The floorboards are squeakin

These roaches are creepin

The ceiling’s beginning to leak

 

My mother, she cries

At the bat of an eye

She trembles in fear that she’s failed

The weight of the world’s

On this rusty old banister

And I just cut myself on the rail

 

Please excuse my clothes

Or rather, these rags

They cover but sometimes they rub

The wounds you see

They’re because of my Dad

My only proof of his love

 

He mentioned something bout

Not being a man

While quickly turning his face

 

His attention comes right back to me

 

He’s able to shove

Now here comes the love

While holding a tall MGD

 

Hear through my slang

The twinge of my voice

It’s the same voice I use to pray

These words have gotten me

Out of sticky situations

And allow me to be here today

 

God hears me fine

In fact his is like mine

Well at least when he’s talking to me

 

Try not to judge my carefree ‘tude

My bounce, my sway, my snap

And excuse me if I seem a little bit rude

Just one question, “Where the fuck YOU been at?”

See you’re here kind Sirs

You’re at my door

Where nothing but poverty dwells

That door’s falling off the hinge

And with my words you BOOST your mobile sells

 

Pay no attention to those guys on the stoop

They’re charged with keeping me safe

The cops treat this block like the Indy 500

They fly through it as if it’s a race

 

Pardon if my nostrils flair at the ease with which you judge

Or if our kinky attributes only stimulate you in a club

If my athletic frame only interests you on the field

Pardon me if I wish for you the same fate

What if you’re wounds never healed?

Titles by Subject
Smiling
ryandl

These are titles to some of the poems that I'm writing. I need to keep track of em somewhere, might as well be here.

Societal Issues
Black Angel
Big Black Buck
Baby Showers
Capitol Gains
Shotgun wedding
Humble Pie
Battle Scarred
See past my misfortune
Same Story, Different Pay


Family
God Syndrome
Baby Girl
My Shadow, My Future
On Becoming a Man

Bitter Relationship Stuff
An Excuse to Scream
Open Door Policy
Just Like You
Killing Fields

Happy Relationship Stuff
Beyond Belief
Crooked Smile
Separated
Home Alone
What I Owe
Karma

Sex
Unfold
Make Room
Submission
Traveller's Checks
Tongue Lashing
I just called-in for you...by the way, you're sick.


Foolin' around
Old pic
ryandl
Why do the bravest of hearts stutter to your song? 
How do you see into dark corners
locked away from the light,
from the cold,
where few rise like yeast
to claim their place in the clouds

You count to nine and they fall 
one by one 
fall till they're lapped up by tongues smart enough not to  
focus on it's bitter taste
But appreciate the sweet

Where do the rest go
there in the dark.? 
making limp their captive's walls?
You ostracize them
leaving  exaggerated scowls that cover
like masks
their softest part

My mask
made of fresh money and beer
new car smell and words to confuse
old, "stood up" looks on aquaintance's faces
football games, pussy, and radio turned to 40
with James Baldwin and Paul Lawrence Dunbar in the lining
soaked in tears.

My mask
disgarded and cracked
smells like religion and pride
like judgement and conservativism 
to all who pass it by
it rots

It'd shatter
But for those with warm, damp, dim faces, 
there to scoop it up with baby-soft fingers
covering tender eyes and a need not to know
Their shallow, sweet breathe seeps through their new covering

fooling everyone but me.






We used to
Smiling
ryandl
We used to groove
We used to groove to sounds of “The Night Time is the Right Time”
The right time was always hard to find cause we were always in the wrong.
We’d groove anyway
We’d ignore the problems of the day to groove to the rhythm of the night
I still remember
We used to groove
 
We used to sit silent
We used to sit silent while smoke rose and liquor poured
The glasses emptied as our hearts filled and burst until our eyes rested on each other’s smile 
We’d sit silent anyway
We’d have so much to say yet sit so silent to savor a moment we knew couldn’t last
I still remember
We used to sit silent
 
We used to touch
We used to touch to remind us who we really were
The time and space found our hands in pockets and under closed arms, defensive and strong
We’d touch anyway
We’d reluctantly touch, then grasp the hand that fit so comfortably in our own
I still remember
We used to touch
 
We used to know
We used to know that we’d never work and our time was to be short
The pain was seen from every angle on that old beaten up couch. Our drug to dull the pain.
We’d know anyway
We’d know, withdraw, and repel. Our protective coating.
I still remember
We used to know
 
We used to remember
We used to remember how we grooved, sat, touched, felt
The time had come and gone for our memories to be shelved and to be replaced
And we’d remember anyway
We’d remember those lessons learned and the life lived
I still remember


------
Don't trip on the re-post. I'm trying to get my writing grouped together. I didn't start using tags until recently.
This gives you a chance to comment like you've never done before ;)

peace
Tags:

No Brothas
Smiling
ryandl
My mother screams, “You’re Different”
She doesn’t say a thing.
She hugs me instead and asks me to come in.
She asks about my day; as scripted.
There is no deviation from her matriarchal dance.
 
Sister proclaims my self-hatred
She whispers with eyes rolled.
She hugs me and tells me to make myself comfortable
As she rips apart my very make-up.
She asks about my day, as if she already knows what I’ll say; who I am
There is no slowing her ascension to royalty.
She’s an eager pupil, a bolder voice.
 
 

My Pen
Old pic
ryandl

I let you hold my pen.. I took it out of it's protective sleeve. It's covered in only my prints and my fingers still have the curve of that Pilot. They naturally curve to the truth as I saw it.

My fingers still move, now, connected to that truth that you write. Blind strokes are giving me hand cramps. the truth is coming too fast for me to keep up. I'm sayin... I want my PEN BACK!

Better yet! I want your truth to slow down and stop so I can catch you with large strides and trace your history/ my future. I want to walk side-by-side with those dark drops that pulled us apart. the drops that you left so I could find you.

So, can I get my pen back?

See, you can't use it it for long. Its ink comes from all the times that I've stared at the stars and saw your face amongst them, from all the misheard echos that bounce off these walls, from my 1 step forward, 2 steps back syndrome, from the, " I can see why you could hate me" place. This foolsh martyr's blood flows directly in to the grooves of that pen. It turns black from lack of oxygen, cuz I can't breathe, not until I have my pen back.

Right about now my ink is running out and you, surely, are having to double back to make your truth legible; if you can get anything out at all. I wish my steps tugged those fingers of yours into submission; that my watery sight made your grip slippery to the touch; that my mood turned that ink from black to red. Let's make a deal. My pen for your memories. An equal exchange. No funny business. Same time, man.  I don't know you. Same time.

So, so you gon hold it hostage? Even though It's out of words, you'd still keep it as a trophy in your pocket cuz it's nice to look at?

I guess that the only way to get mine back is to give you your's huh?

-Ryan Myers                                                                                                     8/9/2007

Tags:

INFJ
Smiling
ryandl
I took my Myers-Briggs/ Carl Jung personality test today i found out that I am an INFJ . The "protecter" It's crazy because it describes me to a "T" most every aspect of my life follows this personality type. It also tells me that this personality type is rare which explains why I seem to feel so different from other people a lot of the time. It's just good to know that I'm not crazy and that there are other people out there like me, although few in number.

If you want to take the test then go to: http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp

it's about 70 questions but it's worth it. Be sure to be truthful to get the best results (don't even front to try to make you feel better about yourself...BE HONEST!) When it gives you your results google it and see what it has to say about you. You'll find better, more real-world, summeries about your personality there.
There are 16 possible personality types, in case you were curious.

I'm interested in what you are.

peace. 

aw yeah, I'm back at work ...blah, Back to getting paid, though!

?

Log in